Inner Critic

Last night, while still tinkering with the grad school statements, I couldn't get far without my inner critic interrupting. Peering over my shoulder, she whispered insidiously -- almost convincing me that the effort was futile: "I don't know what I'm doing. This piece is no good. No school will accept me."

When I stated this aloud in the midst of a wee tantrum, my partner simply replied, "You're just trying to convince yourself that you're not ready for the rigors of graduate study. But you are. Now get back to work." But I couldn't type one word in without that nasty critic beating me down.

I keep this humorous card from a former forth grade student on my desk. Maybe every reward comes with a mutated flower.

to MFA or not to MFA

"The MFA in Writing gives you community and support and skill to become a great writer and not much more. Only get an MFA if you can deal with digging yourself out of debt!"

"You're asking someone for advice who chooses to have a low income and low job security in exchange for more time to write. I just finished paying off my M.F.A. loans this month, eleven years after graduation. Was it worth it? Absolutely."

"Studying writing, to my mind, is not frivolous. But neither is it necessarily practical. I think you're going to have to decide this one in your own heart."

Well, the jury is in! I'm applying for an MFA in Writing. I've done my research, sought the advice of those who have gone before me, even considered other options  (i.e. applied for an MA in Education with emphasis in Teaching English as a Second Language from SSU -- the cheaper, closer, more 'practical' option to pursue my love of language, teaching and cross-cultural communication.)

But my heart keeps singing MFA! MFA!